A while back I attended an introductory writing course and the wonderful lady running it referred to herself as a ‘recovering-perfectionist’. I loved that. The phrase resonated strongly with me until I realised I was still carrying my own ‘nogee’-monster (the dreaded NotGoodenoughEver-monster!).
Suddenly, I was not even good enough at being a perfectionist. The downward spiral sucked me into a sticky vortex. I was struggling with myself. Me, on my own getting in my own way.
It would have been ok if the vortex was a rainbow filled with flying unicorns taking me to a parallel universe. It wasn’t. I was ‘here’ and it was ‘now’.
Something had to give, and quickly.
I had a business to start up and it had to be ‘perfect’. I had to be beyond good enough. I couldn’t remain in the vacuum waiting for lift. I had to get out… but how?
The first thing I had to do was to change my mind and begin to mind my own business. I had to be mindful and tend to my own needs first.
Sounds a little selfish, but it’s not at all.
As soon as I starting being more mindful and aligning to my personal and business needs, the grip of the vortex started to loosen. At last I felt I could breathe a bit better. I took a step back, inhaled and relaxed.
The bigger picture started to form and I found my place in it. Still a long journey ahead, at least I could see a road forward and knew what I had to do.
With my mind-set in a better space, seeing the bigger picture was a lot easier. I could more clearly see where the gaps were.
The next thing I did was to focus on filling the gaps and maintain what was serving me. Each gap I filled helped lead me to the right people, getting the right help at the right time. The roadblocks cleared and what was once rocky terrain become smooth. As I walked this new comfortable road, I didn’t mind that the curb was not filled with manicured lawns or perfectly straight trees. The road was what it was: a means of getting me to my goals with ease.
Walking this path gave me the space and time to stop and feel the sun on my back, warming me up. I could now reflect on the beautiful flowers I had missed in my blaze of perfection-orientated-actions. I realised that my perfectionism had razed the ground. The small beautiful flowers I now stopped to smell, were a hodge podge of colours, textures and smells. More gorgeous than anything I had seen before, more than perfect, they were enough just as they were.
This thought led me to realising that good enough is good enough.
I let go of the need to have every detail perfect. I started trusting myself and began learning more effortlessly. I finally set up my website (which is by no means perfect); I started getting the word about my work out there. The more I did this, the more I felt relieved.
It was better to have myself out there in a good enough way, than not at all.
So many people have been helped because I knew I was enough. When I reflect on over the years, I realise those beautiful souls have not only changed their worlds, but the world around them. I have had the honour of walking alongside them for a while. Had I been stuck in perfectionist tendencies, there would have been no way to share my knowledge with them. No way for them to know the safe short-cut to take, bypassing more pain and loss.
Am I perfect now – no way, I certainly am enough as I am though!
Nowadays I tend to be more of the recovering perfectionist. Living my life the GEE-wiz Way (GoodEnoughEveryday). A wiz at letting what doesn’t serve go and sharing great value, practical ways to make life magic!
So…Your choice now: Perfectionism versus Good Enough. Which will you choose?
Cheryl-lya is a Soul Adventurer, helping women around the globe plan, launch and grow successful and sustainable businesses. She runs workshops alongside one-to-one coaching. To contact her: call UK mobile 07527 303 911, or visit her website soulscompass.net and schedule a free Virtual Cuppa. Say ‘hello’ or share your joys via email: firstname.lastname@example.org